I was with my friend today, she was babysitting her bf’s two kids. One of which is 13 yrs old. The “Mommy has trust fund, silver spoon, I know everything, never work for shit”, smart aleck kids that make you wanna beat them to death.
I am 31, Grandpa age, so he is boasting about his super-boffin mad skillz, quoting moves from the latest fighting games etc, so I start to laugh realising I am gaming twice as long as coloured hair brat has been alive.
To become a true warrior n00bz remember: “know thine enemy”
Anyhow, we end up at the house, PS2 Plugged in (He broke his Xbox). I pick out Snk vs Capcom 2 and my huge hands cramp at the tiny ass PS2 Controller ( think of a gorilla holding a cellphone).
He starts bragging about “TEAM EVIL”
Obeservations before match:
1) He is a powerplayer (technically sound), completely unskilled in forestalling.
2) Talks alot to try to overwhelm you with his unseen Godlike abilities.
I of course, cannot even execute a haduken with that Toothpick Controller. So i fall back on the things that made me legend. FUNDAMENTALS.
Chun-li (Reach,Speed)
Haomaru (Power, Range)
Sagat ( Just like to hear him laugh
)
He picks Naturally:
Omega Rugal
Shin Akuma
Evil Ryu
He has all the special moves down pat. Except he forgot;
If they cannot connect, you will get hurt.
Telegraph your moves, you will get hurt.
Can’t read your opponents moves, you will get hurt.
Don’t know punch/kick basics, you will get hurt.
Match starts, He has double Hadokens, Dragon Punches, Teleports down pat, I have Timing and Patience. After Pwning Akuma and Ryu with Chun-li (Air Throws, Head stomps to medium kick to lightning kick combo’s), his Omega Rugal beats me by hair. Haomaru steps up to plate, two medium straight sword jabs it’s all over.
Is punks like that have mommy buy them Twin Turbo Sports Cars at 18 and kill off people under the mistaken impression that they can drive.
(psst, I always hated Ryu and Ken, Cause I always considered them too powerfull compared to other SF Chars, So I honed my skills back in the day using old school Chun-li, till I could hold my own using forestalling and speed)
Till you know how to throw a punch:
Sagat said it best:

YOU ARE NOT A WARRIOR, YOU ARE A BEGINNER !!
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